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and I was sure he'd been hit by a bus and that's why he couldn't get to the phone. What had actually happened was that the nine-hour time difference got in the way. Remember this: missing a day (36 hours in my case) does not indicate relationshipial jeopardy.

He was in Israel and I was in the States and he somehow thought that calling at 3 a.m. If a phone call gets missed or an e-mail doesn't arrive, do not assume that your darling has run off with the cleaning lady or been hijacked. It's likely that one partner will need more communication more than the other. If you want more contact than your partner, try to be less demanding.

On the other hand, be careful about relying on e-mail to resolve conflicts.

The problem here is that e-mail feels as casual as a phone call, but it's permanent. Tone, intentions and content can all be easily misconstrued.

Those of us who've tried can all attest: it's haaaaaard.