Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.
At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men.
In online situations, women say they want desperately to meet a nice guy like me, but never answer my response to their profile. They have a lot of dating options, they’re building their careers, and there isn’t a clear urgency to settle down.
Pick up a copy of Finding The One Online and it should make a difference. But the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age. To a 42-year-old man who wants his own biological children, anything above 36 is getting into risky territory. I’m a 37 year old woman and have online dated off and on over the years. I would date a 42 year old, not a problem, but as you say, men in their 40’s are looking for women who are in the 27-34 year old bracket.
The lesson to all of you younger readers: take your love life seriously when you turn 30, instead of waiting until you’re 35 or 40. I do know when I was in my early 30’s, anyone in their 40’s seemed old to me! It’s been my experience that I seem to get alot of emails from the 50 and over crowd.
Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.