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In short, I made myself into someone of value that triggered attraction and loving feelings (at least in some others).

I didn't sit around complaining that others "should" love me.

So, I learned how to negotiate, influence, and set boundaries. But, in reality, it means giving all of your time, money, energy, and love to someone else for nothing more in trade than the occasional lip service of "you're wonderful" and "I love you".

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Instead, I made myself someone that had something of value to trade and influence. It is requiring validation and approval from a partner to feel good about one's self.

After that, the people I wanted became interested in me too. I wanted to make somebody feel special..have them make me feel special in return. People confuse emotional neediness for love all the time, but they are not the same. They say others didn't love them, appreciate them, or make them happy.

Don't do those things, continue to complain, and life will not change. I'm in the process of writing a book that will be a blend of my personal stories/insights with academic research.

Consider this a bit of a prelude :) I think I might also incorporate a bit more "me" into my future blog posts as well.

Nevertheless, I labored under this entitlement fantasy for much of my early years. Instead, I tried to figure out what elicited loving feelings in others, what features and value made someone attractive, and worked to get those features too.