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Which is why corporation tax was cut to its lowest level and the top rate of income tax reduced, and the richest 1 per cent have benefited from the fastest rise in inequality for 40 years.

It’s a sign of our community spirit that while public sector workers in meaningless jobs such as teaching have become 6 per cent worse off, they’ve chipped in to help out those who are struggling, such as Richard Branson.

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One way they might resolve this issue is agreeing that instead of financial rewards, there will be extra words in front of the way they’re described.

So instead of “our brave and heroic firefighters”, they will be known from April 2018 as “our brave, heroic, slender and sultry, powerful yet mystically irresistible firefighters, dripping with strength and yet also good at art”.

According to Imperial law, all Imperial planets must maintain a standing army in order to maintain the planetary government's (and thus Imperial) control over the world against any possible invasion or insurrection.

The PDF, as essentially the local military of an Imperial world, have no standardization and can take any form; some, such as the PDF of hive worlds, may be no more than legitimized gangs supported and armed by the local government to keep down the more anarchic elements.

So instead of raising their wages, we should introduce a grape tax, in which anyone visiting a sick relative in hospital has to take four grapes from each bunch they bring in, and give it to a nurse.