Following my original post ‘knowing when to bail – red flags’, I’ve now delved a little further because so many people try to be the exception to the rule and have little or no boundaries.
Aside from there now been code red and amber situations, what helps to differentiate between the two or even change the status is context: If you have previously been involved with the same or similar, or their behaviour is very similar or the same as a parent or authority figure from your childhood, or you actually have the same issue, you must abort mission. If you have not habitually been involved with someone similar or the same, no family history and whatever the issue is, they state and can show that it’s in the process of being dealt with for at least a few months, it’s a code amber.
Hmmmmmm that sure looks like her in the background of #Future's artist "Casino" as they are shooting a video with #Young Thug in #Miami this weekend…. So that would make 2 of #Bow Wow's exes that Future has scooped up ??
Even when confronted with code amber behaviour, we don’t process the information, pause, access what it means to us and the relationship that we have in mind or our vision of the other person.
We don’t ask questions, clarify information, or assert boundaries – all things that should happen in an amber situation.
They play victim (FOCR) – Be careful of anybody that refuses to take any responsibility for their life and blames it on others – Be extra careful of people who when they experience a problem, don’t see their part in it. Not over the ex – (FOCR) – If they say they’re not over their ex, are recently broken up and hurting, are excessively angry with them (i.e not neutral), are hooking up with them, secretly trying to get back together with them, playing you off against each other, whatever – bow out. Controlling – Steer clear of anyone that wants to control you.
They start out with small stuff and then bit by bit increase their level of input.
What I’m about to explain are what typically make you incompatible, or signal a particularly unhealthy relationship or that there are things that you need to address about you.